Power in Mentors

I had a good chat today. It doesn't happen all that often anymore. And that good chat comes after a good chat on Sunday. And that chat comes after a good chat on Saturday.

It seems like ever since becoming an adult, people are too busy to sit and chat with no real purpose other than to talk. And that lack of talk is hard to bear. It isn't easy to transition into 'real life' and it certainly isn't easy to move some place where you don't know anyone. As encouraging as I'd love to be in telling people that connecting with others and breaking into the culture of a place you've never lived, it just isn't anymore.

And back in the good old days, I used to have regular Deep Meaningful Conversations or DMCs with people that had good things to say. It wasn't about the topics of conversation, though the topics were always outstanding. It was always about enjoying the company of others and letting that conversation drift into a place of deeper meaning. And when you left, you felt like you learned something about that person that you thought you knew so well.

Today, the chat was about the need for a mentor. If there is one thing missing from my life at this moment, it is a mentor. While I often get to talk with people I trust, I don't have anyone sitting in my corner cheering me on in a mentoring capacity. I have plenty of cheerleaders, and that is certainly wonderful to have. My parents are great, my family is supportive, friends are always wonderful to hear from, but not always consistent, and my best friends are constantly excited about what I'm about to talk about next.

But, mentors are missing. The people who are able to tell you things you don't always want to hear and tell you what kind of work it takes to get places and the ones who can tell you that you're good at something and should find your way to use those strengths.

That kind of mentorship isn't easy to come by. It takes time and work and a general care for one another to develop the relationship into one where you can learn from one another. This type of relationship is something that in conversation today I realized is lacking in my life.

I think it stems from a great conversation I had with my AP English teacher from high school and a constant reminder of my supervisor in college. Both are now retired and able to tell me some great things about the world. And I am constantly surprised when both mentors tell me about how I have inspired them or helped them see something they didn't see before. Likewise, both are full of life and have lived the type of life that I'm interested in pursuing. Both are constantly waiting to see my name in the headlines, though I have no great desire to be there.

Its that type of relationship that I really need right now. I only wish these two wonderful people were a bit closer in my life and that we had a better opportunity to connect. I still don't get into technology all the time because you lose inflection and tone in e-mail and chat. You lose so much of what makes a conversation. You can be distracted and doing other things and it is seen as a norm through internet connections.

But when you and another person are in the same room, sharing a living space or a public space or really any space, you and that person become connected and engaged in a strong interaction that is tough to shake with distractions and outside influences.

I am excited to develop my mentorships and excited to find more mentorships in my life. I'm on my way towards something big, but I don't know what it is yet. Life is good. Life is fun. And slowly but surely, my life will be, as it always has been, passion filled.

78th Annual Hillsdale County Treasure Hunt

Whenever I head home I always have a strong sense of place. I call it my 'summer home' or sometimes the cottage, but in all reality its my childhood home that tends to be a nice breath of fresh air and break from the daily grind.

This weekend I went home to my cottage with a specific goal in mind. This weekend, was the 78th Annual Hillsdale County Treasure Hunt, and what a hunt it was. 

If you've never been on the hunt (and let's face it, unless you've lived in Hillsdale you've probably never heard of it) let me tell you what it's all about. The treasure hunt is an event where cars, typically of four people, drive recklessly around the county hunting down and finding 10 clues and in some cases, tokens, that are to be retrieved and then returned to the final destination to see who wins. The clues range in type from crossword puzzles, to cryptic clues, to clues where you must count mailboxes and road stripes in the dark, all in a route that spans many miles, takes many hours, and never takes you outside Hillsdale County.

This year, my Mom and Dad decided to come along with myself, one of my best friends, and one of our good neighbors. It was a great dynamic in our car and a quality team as we all had our strengths and useless knowledge stored away in our heads. Armed with flashlights, maps, and naturally pencils and paper, we set off to see what we could accomplish.

The race almost always begins at the Hillsdale County Fairgrounds, home of the most popular fair on earth. (Really, there's a sign.) And it usually draws around 100 cars full of people out ready to hunt. This year was no exception as the sun was creeping downward and we all waited in light jackets as the crisp fall air swept lightly through the grounds. To any who don't know about the Treasure Hunt, I'm sure the sight of a couple hundred people gathered around a building must look strange, but alas, this is a normal sight in Hillsdale.

Our first clue was taped to a wall of the Merchant's Hall, and after a brief welcome, a few ground rules, and a few hints, the hosts of the hunt allowed us to push and shove to our clue on the wall. To those with more aggression or anger issues the run back to their car was quick and easy. To those with a bit less aggression, the run back to their car was still quick and easy.

It was an audio clue on a CD (which, thank goodness we weren't in my car as I don't have a CD player) and the song set the tone for the night. After the song we learned that on the opposite end of the fairgrounds we would find our first clue (a word search) and the hunt was on.

It was 6 o'clock when we ripped those clues of the wall of the Merchant's Hall, and though we did get stuck a few times, we traversed the county until around 2:15 a.m. when we had all 10 clues and 2 tokens in hand. Naturally, we were outside the money as it took us a short 8 hours to complete the hunt, but the fact that we completed the hunt was a great accomplishment.

For me, (though I can't speak for all members in the car) this was never about winning. This hunt was about having a good night and having some fun doing something outside the ordinary. It is so easy to get swept up in excitement during the race as figuring out clues is always incredibly rewarding and finding clues in the dark, lonely roads of Hillsdale County near Halloween is always a bit thrilling. The teamwork and the frustrations that take place in the car are irreplaceable and it is a mark of the love of others that nobody ever gets too mad at their car mates.

I think the Treasure Hunt is one of those things that really allows you to see the true colors of a person. While its all fine and dandy at 6 p.m. and its still light out, doing complicated puzzles at 1 in the morning in the pitch black having never left the car except to stumble around for a clue changes how you might react. Your brain is groggy, your eyes are tired, and the perseverance it takes to continue solving a riddle or reading something backwards or decoding a puzzle of jumbled words is taxing.

But, that is the joy of the Treasure Hunt. And if you pick the right people (which we did) you always have fun. Inside jokes are made and memories are created and in the morning light you can sleepily reminisce about the hunt, look where we were on the map, and talk about how if we had noticed one detail a bit earlier we may well have been in the running, even though every year we are always one detail away from being in the running.

No, just as in travel the destination is never the best part (usually) and how in good movies and books the pieces leading up to the memorable ending are always better, the Treasure Hunt is far more about the clues in between than it is about coming in first place.

I'm glad I was able to participate and I'm glad I had the people I did in the car. I only hope when next October rolls around I'll be in a position to rally the crew and start hunting. 

Deleting Facebook

Wait, what does that say?

If you're on this blog you've probably seen that I am getting rid of Facebook. It's happening on Friday, just two short days away, and I can't wait.

Don't get me wrong, I think there are going to be some challenges. For one, people won't be randomly messaging me because something was posted on my wall. I won't be remembering things about people that I met that one time at the bar and saw again on campus later, such as birthdays. Such a shame.

Granted, fewer people will remember my birthday and I can no longer post some witty comment about the latest pop-culture silliness. But, then again, I rarely do anyway.

No, the greatest challenge I see is that I no longer have that time killer. I no longer have that thing to hop on and see what other people are up to. I no longer have that little piece of me that sits online and no longer need to take good photos for my profile picture. Any new updates will be outside my lingo and knowledge.

But, on the same note, those are all the things I'm most excited about as well. No longer will I be on the internet to check out random pages of people I never talk to anymore. I foresee one of two things happening, or maybe a bit of both. One, I will no longer be on the internet that much and be able to focus on some creative efforts or enjoying nature or reading. Or two, I will be on the internet, but researching things that I need to research, no longer concerned with finding something to post so that people will comment on my wall. My status, is no longer important.

I think I am going to find this experience to be quite liberating. I no longer need to worry what people are saying in their status. I no longer need to worry if some cryptic comment is a backhanded comment towards me. I no longer need to worry what my employers or future employers see. I no longer need to sensor my images and my beliefs and my interests so that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

I feel that Facebook has been a ball and chain for a while. It was fun when it was simple and just a few college buddies meeting up. It was fun when you could post a few photos and watch a few videos and share inside jokes with people for hours. But, now, for me, it has become a burden. A life I have to maintain outside my life that is already spinning. It has become another place for advertisers to bombard me with more pleas to buy, buy, buy.

I know it won't be easy and I'll lose several friends and I won't be invited to many events and I may even have more difficulty maintaining contact with some good people, but I gave advanced warning and did my best to find the contact information to people that I need. From here on out, people will need to call me, text me, or e-mail me, and if you don't have any of those, then we will wait for fate to bring us together. In which case we'll have something to talk about, because we haven't been caught up on Facebook. Think of this as a conversation starter. I know I will.

I'm excited to be free.

Walking to Work

I walked to work today.

After months of excuses for why I didn't walk to work, today I took the first step and walked.

I live somewhere between a half mile and a mile from where I work everyday. And every day since last May 2010, I have hopped in my car in the morning and gone down the four lane road to campus to struggle to find a parking place.

I have a bike here, but I really hate getting sweaty before I do anything in the morning. Also, as mentioned in the last paragraph, the road is a four lane road with no bike lanes whatsoever. It makes for a very scary commute. And in the mornings, there are two colleges that have a large population all in single rider cars trying to jockey through those four lanes of traffic to find a parking spot.

Last Friday, while driving home, I realized that an unusually large amount of stress was building up as I drove the short stretch home. I was constantly waiting for traffic to clear and constantly holding my breath as cars would come increasingly close to my bumper. I get so annoyed by people who try to push you along when you really have nowhere to go.

So, I decided on that drive home that I would start walking to work. Despite the lack of sidewalk, I figured it couldn't be anymore dangerous than navigating the roads with the maniacs on them. And you know what, my walk wasn't that bad. In fact, it was pretty cool.

This morning the sun was just rising, and unlike mornings when I'm in my car watching for traffic and for lights or trying to see through the steam, I was able to enjoy the sun rising and watch the cloud formations. I saw some interesting silhouettes and watched others navigate the frustrating traffic. I was able to smell freshly brewed coffee and see people when they seem most innocent and open to chatting.

And when I arrived to work, I was not stressed, I was able to relax for a moment before the day began, and I was able to remember the peace and quiet I ensued on the walk over, from not listening to radio ads or incessant jabber and simply focus on the day ahead.

I do plan on walking to work every day, in winter and in the heat of summer. I plan on giving myself a bit more time to construct a lunch and to bring some fun things to do during lunch, as I can no longer drive home during lunch to eat.

Overall, this looks like a way for me to cut some unnecessary stress from my life, save some gas, and feel better about my day. While I know not everyone has the luxury of walking to work, I encourage you to find a way to cut some unnecessary stress from your life.